Kylie Jenner cornrows and Bo Derek braids: when White women wear “Black” hairstyles

White Woman - Cornrows

 

In case you missed it, earlier this month, Kylie Jenner (Keeping Up with the Kardashians) and Amandla Stenberg (Rue from Hunger Games) got into it on Instagram after Ms. Jenner posted a photo of herself wearing cornrows, captioned “I woke up like disss”.  Ms. Stenberg called Ms. Jenner out for cultural appropriation, and further condemned her for using her celebrity platform to emulate Black culture rather than use her voice to support the Black cause:

“When u appropriate black features and culture but fail to use ur position of power to help black Americans by directing attention towards ur wigs instead of police brutality or racism #whitegirlsdoitbetter,” posted Ms. Stenberg.

When I first heard about the incident, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it because I didn’t know all of the details (and still don’t).  In my opinion, cultural appropriation is not a light accusation to make, specifically because it suggests racist motives behind a person’s behaviour.  Furthermore, I believe that cultural appropriation depends on the context of the situation.

In the case of Ms. Jenner, at first glance, it seemed like she just wanted to try out something new with her hair, and, like the author of this recent article in The Guardian, I don’t see anything wrong with that.  However, by using the caption, “I woke up like disss”, not to mention posting a video tutorial the day before on how to wrap your hair at night, I can see how Ms. Stenberg may have felt like this youngest member of the Kardashian clan was making a mockery of Black hair practices, rather than genuinely celebrating them. But it all depends on Ms. Jenner’s motives; and it’s up to her to shed light on them.

On a wider scale, however, this incident has raised an important question, in light of the Natural Hair Movement and the resulting increase in awareness and acceptance of Black hairstyles:

Is it cultural appropriation when a White woman wears cornrows?   

For me, when it comes to assessing whether wearing a braided hairstyle constitutes cultural appropriation, I would have to ask myself the following questions:

1) Are the braids being worn simply as a styling choice; or is the wearer playing “dress-up”, and, in essence, mocking the Black experience?

2) Does the wearer recognize the political and/or historical connotations of her hairstyle choice? And does she even care?

 

Are the braids simply a styling choice; or is the wearer  playing “dress-up”, and, in essence, mocking the Black experience?

I personally don’t believe that there is anything wrong with people from non-Black cultures wearing braided hairstyles (i.e. braids, cornrows, locks, bantu knots, etc.) Why? Because hair braiding is a human practice—not a “Black” one—braids have been worn by people of all ethnicities for thousands of years, and is therefore not specific to African people or those of African descent.

Through my Watson Fellowship research project, “Braiding: Traditional Art, Esthetic Service or Cultural Expression?” as well as subsequent research, I discovered that people in all societies around the world have braided their hair for various reasons: whether cultural, spiritual, political, historical, or practical reasons, as well as purely aesthetic reasons.

This is precisely why I believe that braided hairstyles should not be frowned upon in society, but rather be recognized as a human art form.

As we know, due to historical, practical and political reasons, what I call “stylized braiding” (i.e. braids, cornrows, locks, bantu knots, etc.) has become synonymous with Black culture. That being said, I think it would be unfair to say that anytime a White person decides to wear a braided style that s/he is trying to appropriate Black culture.  If that were the case, many of us, Black or otherwise, would also be guilty of appropriating Native American/Aboriginal culture when we choose to wear our hair in mohawks, fro-hawks, and faux-hawks, for instance.

I believe that the difference between cultural appropriation and cultural exchange really boils down to the context of and the impetus for the style choice.  As Ms. Stenberg, herself, eloquently pointed out in her video commentary, “Don’t Cash Crop My Cornrows”, the line between cultural appropriation and cultural exchange is often blurred.   And I think when it comes to hair, in particular, it’s not so black-and-white (pun intended), since no one can really claim ownership per se of styling techniques.

So, if a White woman gets cornrows because she wants to change her hairstyle, or because she thinks they look good, or because she wants to keep her hair off of her face—why not? Now, if she’s decides to wear cornrows because she’s trying to be “down” with Black culture, or trying to “look Black”, and is, in essence making fun of the Black experience, that’s a different story–I think that’s where it becomes appropriation.

 

Does the wearer recognize the political and/or historical connotations of her hairstyle choice? Does she even care?

I know some of you are probably wondering why this question is even relevant, thinking to yourself, “What’s the big deal? Aren’t cornrows just a hairstyle?” In a more perfect world, yes, cornrows would just be a hairdo.  Sadly, in the world we live in, it’s not just a hairdo for Black people.

Appropriation occurs when a style leads to racist generalizations or stereotypes where it originated but is deemed as high-fashion, cool or funny when the privileged take it for themselves. ~Amandla Stenberg

Since stylized braiding is so prevalent in African/Black culture, society views them as a “Black” practice; and since Black hair (as an extension of Black bodies) is politicized, so are “Black” hairstyles.  As a result, hairdos like cornrows are not simply a styling option for Black people: rather they have become politicized symbols of “Blackness”, whether we like it or not. For this reason, when a White person wears a “Black” hairstyle, like cornrows, and does so flippantly, it is viewed as appropriation, and is thus offensive, because when a Black person wears the same hairstyle, it comes with an imposed societal burden.

That being said, is it cultural appropriation when a White woman wears cornrows?  Not always.

Does wearing a Black hairstyle mean that one must support Black causes. I would have to disagree with Ms. Stenberg, here. Just because someone chooses to wear a Black style doesn’t necessarily mean that they should also be an advocate for Black people–even if the wearer understands the connotations of the style itself doesn’t mean that they have an understanding of what it means to Black.  However, I do think that when one engages in cultural exchange, such as wearing an “ethnic” hairstyle or “ethnic” clothing, one should at least demonstrate an appreciation and respect of the culture from which you are borrowing.

 

So, what’s the problem?

The problem is the age-old double standard: when White women wear braided styles, they can make light of it; yet, more often than not, Black women do not enjoy that same luxury.

And things haven’t changed much.  The negative reaction to the ease with which Kylie Jenner can wear her cornrows is reminiscent of the sentiments that Black people felt in the 70s when cornrows became acceptable only after Bo Derek (a White actress) wore them in the movie “10”…when Black people had been wearing them for centuries!

When a White woman decides to wear cornrows, it is seen as fashionable; yet when Black women wear the same hairstyle, it is deemed as questionable.  Why is it that society praises White women when they wear braided styles, yet when Black women wear them, we have to think twice?

 

What are your thoughts? Is it wrong for White women to wear cornrows or other “Black” hairstyles?

The Natural Hair Movement is here to stay: Afrofest 2015

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For the past 27 years, Afrofest has been bringing the rhythms, flavours, creativity, and vibrancy of the African continent to the heart of Toronto, in a free festival that attracts thousands of people annually.

This Saturday, I headed down to the festival at Woodbine Park, with my hubby and my brother, to not only celebrate Mama Africa but to also ask some of her daughters the following question:

Is the Natural Hair Movement just a trend, or is it here to stay?

First, I met Marilyn.  “It’s about time!” was her response, when asked for her thoughts on the traction of the Natural Hair Movement.  Marilyn started out her natural hair journey “spit-shine bald” two years ago, and now sports an oh-so-perfect asymmetrical ‘fro!

 

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20150704_154305Then I had the privilege of running into YouTube sensation, Samantha Gomez of I’m Samantha Gomez (click here to check out her channel), and fitness, lifestyle and hair blogger, Alaina Gomez-Henry of Shorty with a Curl (click here to visit her blog), who were working the festival as representatives for CURLS™ Hair Products.

They both agreed that the Natural Hair Movement is here to stay.  “People are embracing it more and more,” stated Samantha.

These beautiful curlistas were also kind enough to bless me with some samples of one of my favourite styling products, CURLS™ Crème Brule Whipped Curl Cream (love how it defines my curls!), which made my day!

Perfect travel size too!

Who doesn’t like crème brûlée?

20150704_163536Later, I met the lovely Shaniqua, wearing extension braids with grey highlights, at the Black Experience Project tent.  She was recruiting participants for the BEP Project, an important study about the “‘lived experience’ of individuals across the Greater Toronto Area who self-identify as Black or of African heritage” (if you’re interested in participating in the study, click here).

Shaniqua thinks that the Natural Hair Movement is here to stay, as “people are reconnecting with themselves and are embracing themselves.”  She shared that she decided to go natural about 4 years ago, when her hair had broken off from perming it.  The breaking point for her was when her stylist wanted $125 to perm just a couple of inches of hair…needless to say, she has been natural ever since!

 

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Then I chatted with Sipo, whose glorious twist-out I spotted at the City of Toronto tent.  Sipo believes that the Movement is here to stay:  “Once you go natural, and get used to it, you never go back!”

She shared that earlier on in her hair journey, she would go to Afrofest just to check out the hair—the festival offered a great opportunity to see what kinds of hairstyles other people were trying out!

And I agree with her—what better place to get a snapshot of what’s happening in Toronto’s Black hair scene than a gathering of brothers and sisters from across the African continent and the Diaspora?

Honey Fig, the natural beauty supply store (www.honeyfig.com), also had a tent!

Honey Fig, the natural beauty supply store (www.honeyfig.com) had a tent too!

If my conversations with these naturalistas—along with my personal observations—were any indication, it looks like natural hair is not just a fleeting fashion trend, but rather is developing into a true movement of self-awareness and self-acceptance that is really taking root (pun intended) in the Greater Toronto Area.

 
 

Do you agree? Is the Natural Hair Movement here to stay, or is it just a trend?

 

Boy, are we beautiful! Reflections on the 1st Natural Hair Congress Canada!

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What do you get when you bring together natural hair industry experts, stylists, product distributors, bloggers, vloggers, other hair-lebrities, naturalistas, curlistas and transitioners all into a swanky hotel in downtown Montréal? The 1st Natural Hair Congress Canada!

Last Saturday, my sister, Sarah of Sarah Naomi’s Hair Care and Beauty, and I had the privilege of attending this wonderful celebration of natural hair and Black beauty, hosted by Montréal’s own Inhairitance Curl Bar.  The Congress’ theme was “I am beautiful”/”Je suis belle”; and rightly so, because we are!

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The Black Hair Care Bible - a must-have book!

The Black Hair Care Bible – a must-have book!

There were two options for the Congress: the Audrey Davis-Sivasothy Package and the Nerissa Erving Package.

My hubby had recently bought me my own copy of “The Science of Black Hair” (or, what I call, “The Black Hair Care Bible”) by Audrey Davis-Sivasothy, so I was super-excited for the opportunity to get to learn from THE natural hair care guru herself!

Sarah and I got the all-day Sivasothy package, which also allowed us to attend the Hair Show, Natural Hair Styling Competition and Cocktail that evening.

We started off the day by quickly checking out the vendor tables in the lobby, before heading to our first session: “Maximizing Your Hair’s Potential with The Science of Black Hair” (or Natural Hair Care 101), facilitated by Audrey-Davis Sivasothy.

During the workshop, Audrey described the chemical properties of hair itself and illustrated how and why textured hair reacts the way when we apply hair products to it, through Dr-Oz-style demonstrations.  Her workshop helped to dispel certain commonplace myths about Black hair- the main ones being that Black hair doesn’t grow and that water is our enemy.

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After grabbing some yummy (healthy) eats from the Copper Branch Power Foods table, we headed to the “For Type 4s Only” workshop, facilitated by Dr. Susan Walker of Earthtones Naturals, based in Toronto.  As a multi-textured Type 4 (I’ve got 3 different textures happening on my head!), I found this workshop to be particularly helpful, as Susan explained the characteristics of Type 4 hair- to help us understand its strengths and its limitations- and also provided specific healthy hair regimen tips and styling options for this hair type.

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In the afternoon, we learned about the “Do’s and Don’t’s of Protective Styling”, from Monique London of London Ivy Natural and Organic Products.  Monique highlighted the attention and care that needs to be taken when handling textured hair, especially when installing and taking down protective styles, such as extensions and weaves.  It was a good reminder to all of us that though natural hair may feel coarse, it is quite fragile, and thus requires a lot of TLC!

We finished up the afternoon by attending the “Working while Natural” panel discussion, featuring international supermodel Stacey McKenzie; singer and Inhairitance spokesperson Marième Ndiaye; Senior Project Manager of Strategic Planning & NPI Team, Bell Canada, Joy Diaz; attorney Maître Mona Lisa Prosper; and CTV anchor and journalist, Maya Johnson.

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During the discussion, these professionals discussed whether wearing natural hair has presented and/or still does present an obstacle to their career advancement. They shared their own experiences with “tress stress” (click here to see my blog post on this topic), and how they’ve worked to overcome it; how to deal with hair discrimination in the workplace; and how their natural aesthetic has actually helped them, in some instances.

After eating dinner off-site, Sarah and I headed back to the Loft Hotel to attend the hairshow, which showcased magnificent ancient African hairdos, as interpreted by the Inhairitance stylists; as well as a Canada-wide hair stylist competition, featuring three of the nation’s best natural hair stylists.

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Paula Whitelocke of Curly Hair Designs in Ottawa was crowned “Canada’s Best Natural Stylist” for completing the most wearable and aesthetically-pleasing hairdo in 15 minutes.  Supermodel Stacey McKenzie also received an award for her outstanding contributions as an ambassador for Canadian naturalistas around the world. The night ended off with some good music from the African Diaspora, cocktails and hors d’oeuvres at the networking mixer.

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Overall, the Natural Hair Congress Canada was a success, and was definitely worth the drive to Montréal!  It was empowering to be an environment where textured hair was being not only demystified but was also being celebrated!  I remember the days when being natural was “weird” (I also remember being teased for it!), so it really warmed my heart to see how many Canadian sisters are now embracing their natural textures.

The hard work that Abisara Machold, Michal Harewood, and their team at Inhairitance put into this event paid off: the workshops were relevant, informative, and inspiring.  I commend the ladies at Inhairitance for helping to redefine what “beauty” means in Montréal, and for showing us, attendees, that we are indeed beautiful!  ‘Looking forward to next year’s Congress, for sure!

I am beautiful!

I am beautiful!

Did you attend the Natural Hair Congress Canada? What were your thoughts?

Why I cut off my Locs and the politics of Black Hair

In the spirit of Father’s Day, it’s only fitting to shed some light on the politics of Black hair from a man’s perspective. Today, I came across this great read, “Why I cut off my Locs and the politics of Black Hair”, by Rad Dockery, in which he shares the historical, spiritual, and political considerations connected with his decision to grow, and then later cut, his locs.

Rad Dockery's avatarRad Dockery

On Father’s Day, I posted a picture on my Facebook profile of my daughter and myself.   At her daycare, they were having a small father’s day celebration where the toddlers designed a gift for Dad.

Nia Rad

Well this led to my Facebook inbox blowing up.   Not only due to the fact that my daughter is beautiful (yes I am very biased) – but due to the fact that I removed my locs.   All of the sudden, I am getting offers to attend various churches.   The assumption there is that I did this for religious reasons and that I am no longer an ‘evil’ rastaman.

On the other side, there are some who now believe that I am no longer interested in the forward progression of the Black community in Toronto because I cut of my locs.   Or in other words, “I am conforming to White Supremacy”.

View original post 895 more words

The Greatest Love of All

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My father (and me- sadly, my face didn’t make the cut!)

Why yuh a fry dem hair? (Why are you frying their hair?),” my father would ask my mother on those rare occasions when she would press our hair out.  He couldn’t stand the smell of burning hair coming from the sizzling hot comb on the stove.  “Listen, nuttin’ nuh wrong wit’ yuh hair,” he would tell my sister, Sarah, and me.

My father was all about us keeping our hair in its most natural state: no additions, no alterations, no nothing.  He would even get upset when my mom would braid extensions into our hair! “Unuh a put in di horse hair, again? (You guys are putting in horse hair, again?)” he would question.  He didn’t think that any of that was necessary (even though the fake hair was actually plastic). “Jus’ plait it” was his recommendation.

My father, along with my mother, reinforced in our minds that our hair was fine the way it was.  Our parents were both adamant about us not perming our hair until we turned 16. “Nuh bodda cream it (Don’t bother with perming it),” my Dad would say. And when I turned 16, I didn’t bother: to know that my father thought that my kinky, curly hair was beautiful made it so much easier to cope with the pressures to change it coming from outside of our home.

But it wasn’t only about hair, my Dad made it a point to teach us how to love the skin we were in—both literally and figuratively.  “Look how yuh skin black and nice,” he would say.  He let us know that our dark skin wasn’t a curse, but rather a blessing.  My Dad knew how important it was for us to be proud of who we were.  He would make us sit and listen to his vinyl records of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s speeches; watch videos about the lives of Bob Marley and Nelson Mandela; and read books about Black history.  He taught us to be proud of our Caribbean heritage and our African ancestry.  He also taught us to be proud of our family: “You are an Anderson”, he would say, “you are great; and don’t let anyone tell you any different!”

With Miss Minnie

My “Black by Popular Demand” Dad and me, during my 1st trip to Jamaica

Although my father may not have always loved me in the way that I would have liked to receive it, he certainly taught me how to love myself.  Today, on Father’s Day, I thank my Dad for teaching us how to love ourselves, which is, as Whitney Houston declared, the greatest love of all.  Now, as a grown woman, I realize just how fortunate we were to have a father who made sure that we not only knew—but more importantly, that we also loved—who we were.  I thank him for giving us the affirmation that we would need to survive, living in a world where everyone and everything continually tells us that something is wrong with who we are and how we look. I attribute much of my success today to having a strong sense of self and confidence, which made me feel that I could do anything! So, for that, Dad, I thank you!

To all of the fathers out there, Happy Father’s Day!  Keep loving on your children.  Remember to tell them who they are, and who you know that they can be, to counteract the lies that society tells us.  The things you say about your children stick—words have power—so be mindful about what you say to them, both implicitly and explicitly, about themselves.  Teach them to love themselves, so that they won’t have to look for affection and acceptance in the wrong places.  Always affirm them, so that they can face the world with the confidence that they will need to succeed.  Your kids love and are counting on you!

My father, back in the day

My father, back in the day

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be…

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

(Excerpt from “The Greatest Love of All”, written by Michael Masser and Linda Creed)

Happy Father’s Day! How did you celebrate your father today?

 

Tress Stress – Pt. II (or “Can I Wear this Hair to Work?”)

pro·fes·sion·al

prəˈfeSH(ə)n(ə)l/

adjective

1. 
of, relating to, or connected with a profession.

2. (of a person) engaged in a specified activity as one’s main paid occupation rather than as a pastime.

noun

1. 
a person engaged or qualified in a profession.

 

cor·po·rate

ˈkôrp(ə)rət/

adjective

1. 
of or relating to a corporation, especially a large company or group.

noun

1. 
a corporate company or group.

 

As if being a professional isn’t already stressful enough!

Have you ever questioned whether your boss is going to like your new hair(do)? Or whether you should wear your hair like “this” to an interview? Or even pondered how you’re going to explain to your colleagues how your hair magically went from being so short to growing back so fast, all within a matter of days?

For the textured-haired professional, these sorts of considerations are often the norm. As such, hairstyle choices can be a source of great stress when working in a “professional” environment (as if being a professional isn’t already stressful enough!)

 

The corporate interview

While career sites encourage people to wear their hair in the way they feel most comfortable (as long as it’s clean and neat) for an interview, those with textured hair do not enjoy that same luxury.  I learned this lesson for the first time when I was in undergrad, while I was a part of an internship program called Inroads.  At Inroads, we, students of colour, were being groomed for successful careers in the corporate world.  During our Impression Management session, the facilitator spoke to us about our suits, our shoes, the colours that we should wear…and, of course, our hair.

Our facilitator specifically pointed out that the Black interns should avoid wearing braids or cornrows to their interviews. I stood up and asked her what were those of us with natural hair expected to do, since braided styles were often all we wore. She explained to me that we could wear our hair braided, as long as the braids were neat and pulled back. It was her recommendation, however, for us to avoid such hairstyles altogether, lest we forfeit a job opportunity simply because of our hairdo.

I was flabbergasted.

My McGill Law graduation photo. My go-to back then were single extension braids.

My McGill Law graduation photo. My go-to back then were single extension braids.

While I understood the rationale for pulling back your hair back from your face (to allow the interviewer to see you without distractions and to deter you from perhaps playing with your hair out of nervousness), what I did not understand was why, if my hair was clean, braided neatly, and pulled back, it would not be “professional” enough.  Boy, was I naïve to think that my résumé, transcripts, poise, and tidy appearance would be sufficient to land a job!  I thought that what was inside my head was much more important than what was on top of it.  Sadly, this is not the case: your hair matters!

 

 

 

My slicked-back interview bun

My slicked-back interview bun

These days, my day-to-day hairstyles are usually two-strand twists, a twist-out, or an Afro; and, on occasion, I’ll have my own hair cornrowed or braided with extensions.  However, when I go for interviews, my go-to style is usually a slicked-back bun.  I don’t risk the braids, twists, or wearing it out because I don’t want to ruin my chances of landing the job.  There have been times when I have said to myself, “Well, if they [prospective employer] don’t like my hair the way it is, then maybe I shouldn’t work there”.  But then I catch myself.  I figure, “maaaaybe it’s better for me to get the job first, and then ‘feel them out’ to see if they’re gonna be okay with my hair”, rather than have myself counted out of the running from the beginning—just because of my hairstyle choice.

 

At my Call to the Bar (Swearing-In) ceremony

At my Call to the Bar (Swearing-In) ceremony

Side view - Call to the Bar 'do

Side view – Call to the Bar ‘do

Back view - Call to the Bar 'do

Back view – Call to the Bar ‘do

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the job

So, once you get the job, what happens next? You’re obviously expected to look “professional” on a day-to-day basis.  The problem is, by default, most “Black” hairstyles are considered to be unprofessional.

Although textured-haired professionals went to the same schools and work just as hard as their straight-haired counterparts, many times our capabilities and our corporate “fit” are questioned on the basis of our hairdos.  Why? Because braids, ‘locks, and other “ethnic” hairdos carry certain negative connotations: they are perceived to be political, threatening, or examples of “unkempt” hair.

And then there’s the double-standard…Unlike straightened hair, natural hair cannot be worn down- it’s worn out! While it is acceptable for a straight-haired woman to wear her hair down in the office, which is  equivalent to me wearing mine in an Afro, there are only certain corporate settings which would accept an Afro as a “professional” hairstyle.

Then, there’s the mystique of the “ever-changing hairdo”.  Black women are by no means the only ones to wear extensions or hairpieces, but somehow, we manage to baffle people every time we decide to change our ‘dos (I’m guessing it’s because of the frequency?)  I have tried to be patient with my responses to queries about the “dynamic” nature of my hair growth, using them as teaching moments; but I would be lying if I said that sometimes I don’t find it annoying, having to explain why my hair was short on Friday and then super-long on Monday!

 

How do you wear your hair to job interviews or to work? Have you ever experienced tress stress in the workplace? 

“He loves me from my hair follicles to my toenails…”

What are you going to do with your hair on your wedding day?

When I was teenager, one of my guy friends would always ask me: “what are you going to do with your hair on your wedding day? You’re not going to wear it natural, are you? You’re going to have to perm it!”

I used to say to him: “if I met a guy who liked me enough to want to marry me, that would mean he would have had to have liked me, natural hair and all! So why on earth would I change my hair on the day when I would want to look my absolute best for him? I highly doubt that he would appreciate that kind of shock on his wedding day.”

My friend would laugh at me, and insist that I would perm or at least straighten my hair on my wedding day. He was also ready to put money on it because he couldn’t imagine the thought of a bride not having straight hair on her Big Day. What he was basically saying to me was that “you can’t look pretty with natural hair on your wedding day!”

May 31st: a day to celebrate love

Well, today is my 1st wedding anniversary, and it’s also, coincidentally, International Natural Hair Meetup Day– so, for me, it’s a day to celebrate love for my husband and love for myself, too!

A year ago, I married the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful, amazing man I know!

And on my Big Day, my hair was natural…

Wedding - Natural Hair #1

Photo credit: Matthew Kozovski Hair: Danika Battieste-Geddes Makeup: Soraya Prado

Wedding - Natural Hair #2

Photo credit: Matthew Kozovski Hair: Danika Battieste-Geddes Makeup: Soraya Prado

Wedding - Natural Hair #3

My Mom and Auntie – both naturalistas – tying me into that dress! Photo credit: Matthew Kozovski Hair: Danika Battieste-Geddes Makeup: Soraya Prado

 

Believe it or not, my now-hubby would not have wanted it any other way…

Back then…

When we were still dating, one day I decided to switch it up and flat-iron my hair. My-then-boyfriend was not happy- and I was shocked! Why? Because I was so accustomed to guys giving me a lot more positive attention when my hair was straightened.

I have a distinct memory from undergrad of the first time I went to Mass Appeal salon in Atlanta to get my hair “whipped”. When I left that salon, please believe, my hair was “laid”—and the reaction I got from my male friends was astounding! It was as if they had never seen me before—all of a sudden, I had been transformed into this “hot” girl…who they now wanted to talk to, lol! (To be honest, I enjoyed the attention, but what I didn’t enjoy was that my hair took the press too well: it took several weeks to wash it out of my hair, and some of the ends refused to turn back…so I had to cut them! Not cool!)

At the time, I didn’t realize that straightening my hair was such a big deal. I figured, I’m the same person, with the same face, just with a different hairdo; but clearly, straightening your hair was the “sexy” thing to do.

Needless to say, I was expecting my boyfriend to go crazy about my new ‘do. But his response was less than satisfactory:

 “Why did you do that to your hair?” he asked when I got into the car. “It’s so flat and weird now,” he said, as he ran his fingers through and rubbed my scalp.

 “Um, what’s that supposed to mean? You don’t think I look pretty?” (I can honestly say I was a little bit irked by his reception because it had taken me over an hour to straighten it by myself, and this was not the reaction I was expecting.)

 “Yeah, of course you look pretty; but it’s not the hairstyle that looks pretty: it’s your face!”

And that, my friends, was the day I fell in love with him! I’m just kidding! But knowing that he liked my hair—just the way it was—did make a world of difference to me! From then on, I didn’t have worry about whether he was just “accepting” my natural hair—I knew that he actually liked it. Which also meant that there was no pressure on my end to try to change it to “keep” him.

I count myself blessed and I am so grateful for his love.

My soul sista, Jill Scott, captures it so well:

You love me especially different every time

You keep me on my feet happily excited

By your cologne, your hands, your smile, your intelligence

You woo me, you court me, you tease me, you please me

You school me, give me some things to think about

Ignite me, you invite me, you co-write me, you love me, you like me

You incite me to chorus, ooh…

 You’re different and special

You’re different and special in every way imaginable

You love me from my hair follicles to my toenails

You got me feeling like the breeze, easy and free and lovely and new…

(Excerpt from “He Loves Me (Lyzel In E Flat)” by Jill Scott and Keith Pelzer)

He loves me

He loves me… Photo credit: Matthew Kozovski Hair: Danika Battieste-Geddes Makeup: Soraya Prado

 

When you meet someone who loves you from your hair follicles to your toenails, and everywhere in-between, be sure to hold on to them!

Happy Anniversary to The Love of my Life!

And Happy International Natural Hair Meetup Day to all naturalistas around the world! Visit this link for events near you: http://nnhmd.com/about-the-event/

How are you spending your International Natural Hair Meetup Day?

 

Do (Black) Blondes Have More Fun?

Photo by Shandi-Lee CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Photo by Shandi-Lee, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

While Black women have been on a continual quest to achieve straight hair, I’ve learned that most White women long to be blonde.  The joke is, I used to think that straight-haired White women had it made—they had the flowing hair that everyone else seemed to want! I had no idea that they had their own hair hierarchies and hang-ups.

This desire for blonde hair makes sense though.  While the relative popularity of brunettes vs. blondes has varied throughout history, blondes have generally epitomized beauty in mythology and literature, since flaxen hair is associated with notions of youth, fertility, and attractiveness [1].  There’s also a theory about why blondes are considered to be more desirable based on natural selection: in populations where brunettes are the majority, blondes will be the preferred pick because they stand out from the crowd (and vice-versa).

Photo by Poldavo (Alex), CC BY 2.0

Photo by Poldavo (Alex), CC BY 2.0

It was a 1960s Clairol ad campaign, however, that started suggested to us that being blonde is indeed the better choice for the modern-day woman: “Is it true that blondes have more fun?”, their commercials asked [2]. Fifty decades later, the idea that blondes are preferable is still ingrained in our culture; and based on what we see in the media today, it seems that golden-haired ladies still live “the good life”. But is the same true when a blonde is Black?

Photo by dorofofoto - CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Photo by dorofofoto – CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Earlier this month, Farryn Johnson, an African-American woman from Baltimore, was awarded $250,000 in damages, after winning a racial discrimination lawsuit against her former employer, Hooters. Apparently, she was fired from Hooters for wearing blond streaks in her hair, because “Black people don’t have blonde hair,” according to her ex-supervisor.

Photo by mp3waxx.com, CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Photo by mp3waxx.com, CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Although “Black” people are usually not expected to have natural blonde hair, contrary to Ms. Johnson’s boss’ belief, there are dark-skinned people from various ethnic groups who do have natural blonde or light brown hair, like people from the Melanesian Islands in the South Pacific and persons in the African Diaspora with European ancestry.  That’s the power of genes!  In any case, many Black women—just like many women of other ethnicities—opt to go blonde, whether by dye or using hair pieces. Take Beyoncé, Mary J. Blige and Queen Latifah, for example. (I guess Ms. Johnson’s supervisor didn’t get out much).

Photo by LG 전자, CC BY 2.0

That being said, there does seem to be an unwritten rule that women with darker skin are “not supposed to” wear lightly-coloured hair: it is either frowned upon or is just not considered to be a good look.For example, when Gabrielle Union dyed her hair blonde for her role in Top Five, she received backlash—she was accused of trying to be White.  Meanwhile, my sister, Sarah, and I, as mocha-shaded girls, grew up thinking that blonde was simply a no-no for us—we were told that we were too dark.  This month, however, Sarah decided to that she wanted to “have more fun” too: she defied the odds by throwing some blond highlights into her latest ‘do.

Sarah goes blonde!

Sarah goes blonde!

So far, her bold choice has been met with raving reviews.

What do you think? Should women of colour stick with their “natural” hair hues, or is it okay for them to “have more fun” too?

Notes [1] and [2]: The Encyclopedia of Hair: A Cultural History by Victoria Sherrow, Greenwood Press, 2006.

Tress Stress – Pt. I (or “Have You Ever Tried to Straighten a Slinky?”)

stress

/stres/

noun

  1. 
pressure or tension exerted on a material object.
  2. 
a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.

 

tress stress

/tres stres/

noun

  1. Stress caused by one’s hair.

Tress stress is a condition that can be suffered by anyone whose hair does not meet the societal ideal, whether in texture, thickness, abundance, length or colour. The cause of this condition is two-fold: it is brought on by external factors putting pressure on you to wear your hair a certain way; and it also comes from within, from the internal pressure you put on yourself to try to meet those external demands.

For people with textured hair, tress stress can be chronic. This chronic stress is caused by constantly seeking to achieve a straight-haired or even wavy-haired norm for the sake of “beauty”, in conjunction with trying to loosen your curl patterns for the sake of “manageability”. In this series of posts, I’m going to discuss different forms of tress stress and how they can be alleviated.

 

 Have You Ever Tried to Straighten a Slinky?

This past Sunday was Easter, which is the one day of the year when churchgoers wear their “Sunday’s Best”, if at no other time. When my sister and I were younger, Easter Sunday’s Best meant that we would be getting our hair pressed (essentially, ironed with a hot comb) the night before.  This was an occasion that was always met with great anticipation because for the rest of the year, it was only braids and Afro puffs for us (how boring! we thought). Having our hair pressed meant that it would blow in the wind, it would look longer, and we would pretty much feel prettier; BUT it also meant that we couldn’t do anything– we’d have to make sure that our blankets weren’t too hot, that our shower wasn’t too steamy, and that we didn’t run around too hard at church—otherwise, that “pretty” press-and-curl would sweat right out—and our hair would turn back (curl up)!

The wonderful thing about straightened kinky (tightly curled) or curly hair is that when it’s exposed to moisture, it coils right back!  This phenomenon of turning back is the reason why many Black girls avoid jumping into the pool, even when it’s boiling hot outside—it’s not because they don’t like to swim—it’s because they know that once that water hits their hair, it will ruin their hairdos which probably took them a long time to get done (and will probably take even longer to re-do). Another reason for the hesitancy is usually because detangling extremely curly hair can be very time-consuming, especially if you don’t have the proper tools on hand or know the right techniques.

The uniqueness of “African” hair

Due to the unique texture and properties of “African” hair, Black hair care methods are generally different from that of most other ethnic groups.  Though there is no such thing as “African” hair (since the continent of Africa is populated by many diverse ethnic groups from different climates, each having its own hair texture), what we tend to call “African” hair is the type that is found in Sub-Saharan Africa, which is kinky and frizzy. Ethnic groups have various traits, like skin colour and hair texture, partly because of the climates of the environments where their ancestors lived. People with Sub-Saharan African ancestry tend to have coily hair, which provides insulation from the sun to keep one’s head cool,  but it is also prone to getting tangled, and tends to be drier and duller than other types of hair.

A source of frustration

Though my sister and I only experienced our specially pressed hair but once a year, for many other Black girls, straightened hair was the norm (and for many, it still is). Our friends’ mothers would relax (chemically-straighten), press or flat-iron their hair on a regular basis, in order to make it straight, sleeker, and more manageable.  These processes were supposed to make life easier.

But as my brother observed, “Black women straightening their hair is like trying to straighten a slinky.” Have you ever tried to straighten a slinky? No matter how hard you tried, you wouldn’t be able to get all the kinks out, and it would either revert to its original state or just end up completely destroyed. The same idea applies to trying to smooth down frizzy hair. It’s like playing a game of Whac-a-Mole– those curls will just keep popping up! So what does all of this mean for the kinky- and curly-haired people of the world? It means frustration!

 

frus·tra·tion

frəˈstrāSH(ə)n/

noun

the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.

  • an event or circumstance that causes one to have a feeling of frustration.
  • the prevention of the progress, success, or fulfillment of something.

I think a lot of the frustration we experience comes from us trying to make our hair do what it’s not supposed to do. In the name of “beauty”, we spend so much of our time trying to make our hair do things that are contrary to its very nature: we try to make our hair look sleek, straight, or wavy, when it all it wants to be is curly, puffy, and fuzzy. In the name of “manageability”, we alter our curls, whether through heat or by chemical means to make it “easier” to comb and style. But all of these efforts only serve to frustrate us.  In the same vein, it’s no coincidence that the origin of the word “frustration” is the Latin word frustrare which means “to disappoint”. As long as we continue to try to achieve straight styles and to manipulate our hair using the same methods intended for straight hair, we will only be disappointed.

So what’s the cure for this kind of tress stress?

cure

kyo͝or/

noun

1. 
a substance or treatment that cures a disease or condition.

  • restoration to health.
  • a solution to a problem.

To relieve this condition, rather than frustrating ourselves with trying to make our hair do what it doesn’t want to do, I think we should try to “lean in” to our curls, by:

  • Accepting and making the most of our texture or length, no matter how kinky or short our hair may be.
  • Changing our definition of what looking “good” means for our tresses.  We need to stop trying to compare apples to oranges—it will never work.
  • Gaining an understanding of the properties of our hair and adopting new methods and techniques for maintaining it. For instance, on a basic level, curly hair cannot (and in some cases should not) be combed in the same way as straight hair—the curlier your hair, the wider your comb teeth should be. And sometimes it’s even better to use your fingers instead!
  • Figuring out what your hair does well, and doing that!  Find out what styles work for your hair, and then wear them like nobody else! For some people, that might mean keeping their hair short. For others, it might mean having their hair braided. Whatever you choose, do you!
  • Keeping in mind that Black hair itself is unique by nature, so it cannot do the same things that straight hair can do; but what that also means is that it can do things that straight hair cannot do! For example, it can stand on end! It can also be formed into designs that keep their shape. We need to start harnessing and celebrating these qualities of textured hair!
  • Remembering that your hair is unique to you, and it will never look like exactly like anyone else’s.  So, instead of trying to get what someone else has, learn to appreciate your own.

The more we begin to embrace our hair for what it is, and start letting go of our unrealistic expectations, I believe the less stress we’ll feel.

 

Do you suffer from tress stress? How do you try to alleviate it?

…But Samson’s hair began to grow again…

Sampson_pulling_down_the_pillars

 

In the Judeo-Christian story of Samson and Delilah, Samson is a mighty judge and Nazirite, whose supernatural strength lies in his locks. When he reveals the secret of his might to Delilah, she cuts his hair, and he loses his strength. “But his hair, though cut off, began to grow again” (Judges 16:22); and when this happens, Samson regains his power.  In his final act, he collapses a temple on top of himself and 3000 Philistines, by pushing down its pillars with his bare hand.

Just hair?

Over the ages, through characters like Samson, Medusa, and Rapunzel, hair has served as a symbol of strengthpower, and beauty in myths, legends and literature.  Nowadays, we’d like to think of hair as being “just hair”, but these types of narratives, coupled with cultural practices, have given us certain notions about our tresses.

For us to really understand what all the fuss is about Black hair, I think we need to look first at some of the underlying beliefs that we, as humans, have had about hair:

Hair is mystical.

Our hair is a part of us- it grows out of our bodies and also carries our genetic material. Although we have hair pretty much all over our bodies, the hair that grows out of our head is particularly special. Not only does this hair serve as a main identifier of its host, but it has also come to personify one’s mind, thoughts, and headspace. Just think about some of our sayings:

“I just needed to get it out of my hair!”

“You made me want to pull my hair out!”

“I feel like letting my hair down!”

As such, hair has become associated with our moods, emotions, and our very being—like an extension of the soul. In some cultures, this association goes even further than that: hair actually has a spiritual significance. For example, followers of Rastafari and Sikhism believe that hair itself is holy, so they allow their hair to grow and never cut it.  Also, in many cultures, the styling or cutting of hair plays a role in ceremonial rituals and rites of passage.

Hair is magical.

Since hair has been thought to be connected to a person’s being/soul/spirit, throughout history, various cultures have developed specific beliefs and superstitions about hair.

For instance, in West African and Caribbean societies, there’s a belief that pieces of your hair could be used to hex you, so people try to make sure that their hair doesn’t get into the hands of the wrong person! In my family, although we’re not superstitious, we too have internalized the practice of carefully throwing away any hair that’s been left on the floor or stuck in our combs and brushes (it’s so funny how your culture affects your behaviour!) This idea of your hair embodying your being is also part of the reason why putting your hands in a Black person’s hair—without invitation—is a BIG no-no (more on that in future posts).

Aside from beliefs and superstitions, I would also say that hair itself is kind of magical: it’s dead, yet it’s also alive at the same time. When you cut it, it grows right back. And it can also be changed and rearranged, and return to its original state, which allows you to change it again and again.

Hair is magnificent.

When my sister and I were younger, our Mom would always say, “your hair is your glory”. Back then, I didn’t realize that what she was making a biblical reference; but in any case, like many other things, she was right: society ties hair to beauty.

A full, thick head of long sleek straight hair, preferably blond, and no-greys, is the (unsaid?) prototype for the modern woman. Such hair is thought to represent youth, vigor, health, propriety, and sexiness. Furthermore, “beautiful” hair must also be “done”: it must be combed, brushed, trimmed, shiny, and neatly arranged.

Curly and frizzy hair, by nature, then, often gives the appearance of not being “done”, based on the straight-haired ideal. And if your hair isn’t “done”, people tend to assume that you’re a mess—either you’re lazy, you’re going through something, you’re sick or unstable, or you just lack good hygiene.  This begs the question, “if your hair can never be ‘done’, how can you ever be ‘beautiful’?”

This is the beginning of a much larger discussion, as these are just some of the underlying notions that influence how we, as humans, view and understand hair.

For further information on the significance of hair, see The Encyclopedia of Hair: A Cultural History by Victoria Sherrow, Greenwood Press, 2006.

 

What are some of the beliefs that your culture has taught you about hair?