What is your name?
Where do you live?
Scarborough, Ontario, Canada
What is your occupation?
Service Manager in the Federal Public Service
What is your educational background?
Bachelor of International Business degree, Carleton University, Ottawa
How long have you been natural?
I started transitioning in October 2015, but I did the Big Chop in January of 2016, because I couldn’t deal with the two textures. It was very annoying, and none of the styles looked right—when it was curly, I had straight ends.
I went to the hairdresser in January 2016, because I didn’t know how to manage it and I was looking for support. I wasn’t planning on cutting it that day- I went in for wash and style—and then I saw these straight ends, and I was like, “No. Cut it off.” Initially, my hairdresser refused to: she thought I was being emotional; but I insisted.
I was sitting under the dryer after my hairdresser had cut it all off, and I texted my fiancé (at the time), and told him, “Yeah, I cut off all my hair.” So he asked me to send him a picture. Keep in mind that this was January before my wedding in August.
Did I have regrets? Well, the first time I came to wash it and do it, I didn’t have a clue; so I felt like, “What did I do?” So I started asking other naturals, I tapped into the community, and I used YouTube like crazy; that’s how I learned how to manage it.
Why did you decide to “go” natural?
That’s a loaded question. I had several reasons, one of them being for health reasons—in preparation for having children—I knew that I couldn’t be relaxing my hair.
I could no longer reconcile perming my hair and thinking about what I’m going to tell my kids. They were going to see my straight hair, and then out of the other corner of my mouth, I would be telling them that they are beautiful. Now I could deliver that message without being a hypocrite.
I wouldn’t want them to get caught up in the foolishness that I did, taking years to be confident with my hair in its natural state.
But I had to be converted. I had a “Damascus Road” Experience because I was hard-core on the creamy crack! I was the last person in my nuclear family to go natural—my mother and my sisters have been natural—way before this “Movement”. Since age 13, when I went to the hairdresser to get my first relaxer, I hadn’t seen my natural hair. When I got my first relaxer, I wanted it. It was like a rite of passage for me; it wasn’t a question. I realize now in my journey that I CANNOT go back!
Also, I was emboldened by one of my colleagues, who is a very good friend of mine: a few months earlier [before I decided to go natural], she came to work and she had chopped all of her relaxer off. Because she was in the government context, and she had done it, that encouraged me. Since she had done it, I knew I could do it.
It’s about passing that torch: the more of us who do it, the more we will encourage each other to do it!
I realize in my current context that I have Black females who report to me; and in the 6 months I’ve been [in this department], I’ve seen two of them chop their hair off. Perhaps it could be coincidence; but I believe that they could see that I’m their boss and I go to work like this, so they feel like they could do it, too.
What is your go-to natural hairstyle?
Wash-and-go, all day, every day! Part of it is because I really haven’t figure out how to do anything else! But I will do the occasional twist-out. It’s all about the wash-and-go though.
Have you ever experienced any challenges in the workplace due to your natural hair?
I guess, the comments. Sometimes I’ll put braids in or protective styles, and then everybody on the floor has to come and parade in to see Kim’s new hairstyle. I’ve had people stop meetings with big wigs, even, to come and say: “OMG! Kim changed her hair again, I can’t keep up!
Sometimes people think they are giving me a compliment, and for most people, it’s not coming from a malicious place: “I like it when you do your hair all crazy!” Or when I do stretched styles: “I like it when you do it all big and crazy!” Those kind of underhanded micro-aggressions. I really believe that for some people they are really trying to compliment me, but the question is, “Would you say that to your other colleagues?” No, because you don’t think that their hair is crazy- you think my hair is crazy.
What do you love most about your natural hair?
At first, I didn’t know what I was doing, I didn’t love it; but there was one day, that I just realized that I “love this”, I love ME; it was like a switch that went off. It had to do with me figuring out my own hair. I love the versatility of it; I love the fact that it’s MINE. It’s my authentic self. That’s what I love about it. It’s Me.
What have you found to be most challenging about being natural?
The TIME—don’t let anyone tell you the fallacy that natural hair is faster or more simple—there’s nothing simple about it! It’s a lie from the pit of Hell- it’s very time-consuming. Especially for the wash-and-go, it’s time consuming on the front-end, but you get a lot of longevity out of it—at least out of my wash-and-go, I do.
Also, the expense with respect to products because the industry realizes that it’s the new “in” thing. They want to charge $30 for 8 oz. It can be very expensive if you want to get the good quality stuff.
Another thing is dealing with the ignorance, sometimes from people at work with the “I love your hair when it’s crazy” comments, and sometimes it has been from my extended family: “Kim, your hair was so pretty, and so long!” My relatives who haven’t caught it yet are usually from another generation, not my generation; they haven’t been delivered yet.
How do you maintain your “work-hair-life” balance?
I just try to find styles that will stretch—for me, it’s all about the longevity. I don’t straighten it, partly because I haven’t been able to get that longevity out of it. Since going natural, I’ve straightened it about 3-4 times, but I don’t like the idea of putting heat on it—I know it’s not good, so I don’t do it.
What words of encouragement would you offer to someone who is considering going natural, but may have reservations due to their profession?
I would say, just do it! Just do it! Take the hit, because you will get a hit. The first week or so, you will literally be on parade. One of my girlfriends and I were laughing about it: I knew everyone at work would come to my cubicle to spectate. So take the hit for the week, and then everyone will move on to something else. The freedom that you will have from taking that one single action is worth it. It’s worth the parade past your desk and the spectators! So, just do it!
It all depends on the sector you work in, but there will be a reaction, so don’t fool yourself! But just move on with your life in FREEDOM!
Also, you will feel ugly for a period of time—especially if you do the Big Chop. It looked bizarre to me! You’ll feel like there’s nowhere to hide, and that’s the part that was very unnerving for me, the high level of exposure and vulnerability. But you have to push through that. You have to learn how to love and become reacquainted with yourself. So prepare yourself for feeling ugly.